just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
