I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
