I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
