Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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