We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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