Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
