the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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