i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The power of my boobs compel you
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