When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
