So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Do vagina's smell?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Im part way to drunk.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
