I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
