It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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