I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
