She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
