absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
