Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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