I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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