I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
