found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
