Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
