What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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