i just wanna soil my oats bro
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We left the knife in your bed.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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