My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
