I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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