Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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