I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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