areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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