He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
