Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Randomize
