i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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