If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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