What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
