I hope mine doesn't look like that
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Randomize
