very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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