i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
