Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
