if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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