I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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