i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
