woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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