Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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