there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
