i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
