Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
