Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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