kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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