New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
