She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
