He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
