absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
