True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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