WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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