why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just cropdusted the office
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
